Pumpkin Carving

Wednesday night we had all the kids home (with significant others) for a night of Taco Soup and pumpkin carving. The soup was delicious, (if I must say so myself), and the carving was a lot of fun. I thought I would share some pictures of the festivities with the two or three people who still visit this blog.

At work on the pumpkins. As any experienced pumpkin carver knows, the job begins with cutting into the gourd and pulling out the lovely stuff inside.



It is very important that you keep your head down and follow through on your scraping motion. Here, Stephen helps me keep my head down. This was, in fact, the first of two pumpkins which I cleaned, a certain someone, who will remain unnamed, batted her eyes at me, much the same way she did some 27 years ago, and I caved in and relinquished my cleaned out pumpkin.



Scott shows some natural Gohring scraping abilities. (Note the powerful elbow motion, you just can't teach this stuff.)



There was some concern as to whether Brittany would complete her pumpkin by Halloween.



Scott let Chelsey share in the joy of cleaning out the seeds and goo.



Chris is something of a speed-carver. He was the first one finished. Staci, as you can see, was a bit more meticulous.



Heads down and working, Stephen is nearly finished carving, and Brittany is still working on the design.



Jan eschews the traditional carving implements and works exclusively with power tools. She has recently bought a full set of pumpkin bits for her Craftsman Router.



My pumpkins always tend to look like this.



The completed Jack-o-lanterns!



Illuminated!!!



Scott and Chelsey - Skeletonish



Staci - spooky



Chris - Sic 'em Bears!!!!



Brittany - well worth the wait.



Stephen - a chip off the block, huh?



Jan - artsy fartsy



Steve - no comment



Now they are all ready to line the steps for Halloween tonight.

Bring on the Trick-or-treaters.

Driving in Texas - A Primer for those not from here.

Since adding the Feedjit Widget to my blog, I have noticed that I have received visits from Canada, Ireland, UK, Norway, Germany, Venezuela and France. Not to mention such foreign places as New York and Oregon. This got me to thinking that I should advise any of you that might be planning on visiting our fair state that you should be aware of some of our driving habits. For this purpose I offer the following tips and advice for driving in Texas. 

1. Speed Limits - Posted throughout the state are signs which indicate the posted "speed limit" for the road that you are driving on. If you notice that you are going the speed posted on the speed limit sign, you will also notice that you are a.) being passed as if you are standing still and/or b.) getting honked at continuously and receiving various gestures, most of which appear to involve only one finger. This is because if there are no state troopers present, you are expected to exceed the posted limit by at least 10 miles per hour. In the event that a trooper is seen, then the standard protocol is to slow down to a speed approximately 5 mph slower than that posted, and to do so suddenly, so as to cause the cars coming up behind you to have to slam on their brakes. 

2. Traffic Lights - Located at numerous intersections, these multicolored lights are used to indicate instructions to drivers as to when it is safe to proceed through the intersection. Like all other states, Red = Stop, Green = Go and Yellow is meaningless and considered to be green. There is a major exception to these standard rules in Texas. Red still equals stop, but only after it is "good and red". You generally assume that you have a good 2-3 seconds before it is red enough to stop. Green means go, but, due to the interpretation of red mentioned above, it doesn't mean go right away. As also mentioned, yellow means green, but hurry up and go, because red is coming. So long as you have any part of your car into the intersection before the light turns red, you made it.

3. Exit Signs - These signs are located on the highway, indicating to the driver that there is an exit approaching on the right or left that will take you to the place indicated. You might be fooled by this to think that it means that you should change lanes and move to the extreme left or right (as the case may be) so as to be able to exit. But this would be a mistake. In order to drive like a Texan you should speed up around the cars that are lining up on the right (silly foreign drivers), and then, at the last possible moment,  attempt to change lanes into the exit lane. There will inevitably be someone there to let you in, and you just got ahead of all of those other people who foolishly queued up for the exit.  Do not lose sight of the fact that this is, after all, a race to see who can get where you are going the fastest. Do not let the fact that the others are not aware that they are racing you dissuade you from this.

4. White Lines. - Are pretty, other than that they have no meaning. 

 

5. Double White Lines - Are twice as pretty. 

  

6. Right of way - Is  something that people should give you. It is not something anyone should ever expect from you. 

7. Yield Signs - Intersection indicators that indicate that there is no need to stop. They are fairly well universally ignored. 

8. Stop Signs - Intersection signs that are placed there to make you slow down, until you determine that another car is not coming on the intersecting street. So long as there are no other cars, or in the event that it is a four-way stop, and those cars are already stopped, they can be ignored, other than a brief slow-down. 

9. Turn Indicators - You basically have two options. If you are under the age of 70, you do not use them. Over the age of 70, you turn them on in one direction, and do not turn them off until you reach your destination.  

Hopefully these simple rules will enable you to successfully operate a motor vehicle in the State of Texas. These observations are based on the experiences and knowledge of the author, your results might vary.  

UPDATE:

I left out one important fact. Like many other places, we have a 'right turn on red" law. But, of course, ours is slightly different. While in other places the general rule is that you can turn on red if no cars are approaching, here you turn right on red if you feel like you can make it, or if "that car were going slower, I would have made it easy". The important thing is, as long as you can get your car in front of the other one, then it probably will be their fault if they hit you. Good Luck.  

A trip down memory lane....

I was looking through old yearbooks, and I really don't think I have changed that much. Sure, I have put on some weight since High School (haven't we all?) but all in all, I still have the same "core" look. Which is pretty impressive, since it took me about 20 years to get out of high school. I am attaching a couple of my favorite pics for your pleasure.

This first was from early on in my high school experience. I was secretary for the Young Republicans.



This one is more recent, I had been watching a lot of "Saved by the Bell", and that kind of influenced my hairstyle choices.



Ahhh, high school. Good times.

UPDATE:

OK, those aren't real, they are from yearbookyourself.com, but how about an actual yearbook photo?

Poor Scott, see what he has to look forward to?

One of those list things.

OK, MAB tagged me on one of those list things, so in order to not get my butt cosmically karma kicked, I am posting my responses, but I am not going to tag anyone else, thereby ending this portion of the chain with me. Those of you unharmed by this particular list can thank me personally at a later date. (Actually it was kind of fun, and hard to come up with a single word answer to these questions.)

1. Where is your cell phone? hip
2. Your significant other? driving
3. Your hair? thinning
4. Your mother? deceased
5. Your father? neighbor
6. Your favorite thing? rain
7. Your dream last night? unknown
8 Your favorite drink? diet
9. Your dream/goal? retirement
10. The room you’re in? office
11. Your hobby? procrastination
12. Your fear? loneliness
13. What do you want to be in 6 years? older
14. What you’re not? thin
15. Muffins? yes
16. One of your wish list items? muffins
17. Where you grew up? everywhere
18. The last thing you did? reception
19. What are you wearing? khakis
20. Favorite gadget? shuffle
21. Your pets? Ella
22. Your computer? laptop
23. Your mood? harried
24. Missing someone? mom
25. Your car? dad's
26. Something you’re not wearing? cologne
27. Favorite store? none
28. Like someone? YES
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? recently

Pop Quiz - Current Events

So, I am reading an article online about the higher incidence of people choosing not to immunize their children against childhood diseases, and they cite two moms in a small community in Oregon, one who immunizes her children as recommended by her Doctor and required by the school system, and another who decided to opt out and obtain a waiver based on her belief that it is unnecessary and potentially harmful to immunize.

Question: Based on the names of the children, can you guess which mother takes which stand?

Mother A (Jennifer) - children are named Hesperus, Athena and Etani

Mother B (Vanessa) - children are named Isabella and Haley

Lake Weekend Getaway

We had a great time last weekend as the College Department went to the Witcher's Lake House on Lake Buchanan for a day of fun in the sun. Below are a few pictures from the day.

I will not comment on the above photo, other than to say Jeff hasn't called me since, and I am heartbroken.

July 23, 1981

27 Years ago today.....

Jan and her best friend Sandy were at my house, I was locked out, having to spend the day and night with Andy Allen, my best man. Jan was getting ready for the wedding and packing my suitcase for our honeymoon at Lakeway in Austin. Andy and I spent a leisurely day doing next to nothing. Upon arrival at the church the next day I realized that the clothes that I brought to change into after the wedding did not include socks, so I was going to have to leave the church in gray slacks and shirt with the white socks from the tuxedo. Realizing the pants would be plenty long enough to cover, I was not worried about it. Arriving at our destination late that evening, I unpacked the suitcase that Jan had packed for our honeymoon weekend (Friday night to Sunday). It contained a couple changes of clothes, my tennis shoes, every single pair of underwear I owned, and, surprisingly NO SOCKS!

Still, I guess there could be worse things than having no socks on your honeymoon.

July 24, 1981

That was the date, the anniversary of which is this week, that Jan and I set out on an amazing adventure. It has had its twists and turns, some unbelievable highs and some really devastating lows, but all in all, I can think of no other person that I would want on the ride with me. I hope that she feels the same. So if you see or e-mail Momma G this week, tell her what a fantastic, saintly, courageous, awesome, stunning, fabulous, good-humored, sweet-natured and loving person she must be to have put up with me for 27 years.
(oh yeah, and for me, pray that she has it in her to keep this thing going for a whole lot longer.)

Happy Anniversary Jan!!! You still rock my world.

QUICK UPDATE:
For fans of the movie "Parenthood", I give you my favorite passage from the movie. Grandma's story.

"You know, when l was younger Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down. - Oh, what a ride.- I always wanted to go again. lt was just interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited and so thrilled all together. Some didn´t like it.They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."

Pondering Cliff's Blog

Has anyone else noticed that something odd seems to have happened over at Cliff's Blog?

It used to be the kind of place you would go and read, and hope that noone else noticed that you were doing it. Sort of a guilty pleasure as you read the inane comments and views of Cliff, and you were able to ridicule him for what he said and posted.

But lately, it has been wholesome, uplifting, even (dare I say it) spiritual. Something is going on over there at Cliff's blog, and I for one DO NOT CARE FOR IT AT ALL.

I mean, it is becoming the kind of a place you would tell your pastor about. Somewhere you might talk about at a Sunday School Teacher's Training Meeting. His poll questions have evolved from "Do you pick your nose?" to "Have you been on a Mission Trip in the past 12 months?" To quote the Cliff I used to know, "Holy Crap, what is going on here?".

If you, like me are concerned with this paradigm shift, if you honestly believe, as I do, that Cliff's heartwarming blog entries are contributing to global warming, then it is incumbent upon you to do something about it. Let your voice be heard! Let the blogosphere know that we want Cliff's blog to be filled with meaningless drivel, the way that God Himself intended it to be.

Thank you, and good night.

Random Thought

So if I go another two-plus years, and haven't had my mid-life crisis yet, does that mean I am going to live to be at least 100?

The Etymology of Crap

It has been a long time since my last post, so I am way past due. I have to give thanks to Britty for the suggestion for today's entry. MAB and I have had numerous blog based discussions regarding this word, which we are fairly well in agreement has caught a bad rap. It is just a great word for describing things. It has uses as a noun, such as in "Could you please move your crap off the table?", as an adjective, as in "I have had a really crappy day/week/month/life" and as a verb, like in "Our plans to go away for the weekend were crapped out." It is also used, extensively by this author, as an expletive, i.e. "CRAP!, who left this matchbox car right in the middle of the hallway, where I would be sure to step on it in my barefeet." More recently this has been supplanted by "CRAP!!!, when was the last time the dog was let out, because something is soaking through my sock."

When I was growing up we had a drawer in the kitchen, (I am sure that all of you have one of these drawers in your house somewhere), where all the little items that didn't go anywhere else were kept. You would look in this drawer if you needed one of those little plug adapters so that you can plug in a three pronged cord into a two pronged outlet. You would look in that drawer if you needed a twist tie for any reason. There were always a handful of pencils with the tips snapped off, a screwdriver (but never the kind you needed, if you needed phillips, it was flat, and vice versa), some twine, electrical tape, paper clips and odd bits of hardware that came with some appliances (the majority of which we no longer owned). This was called the "crap" drawer. Anytime I would ask my mom for something she would say "Look in the crap drawer".

When Scott was a toddler, there was a Saturday morning that stands out in my mind when I discuss my proclivity to use the word crap. I had decided that morning to replace our hall bathroom sink, and install a vanity. I had to remove the old sink, put together a vanity, install the base, which involved cutting away a portion of the baseboard and fastening the whole thing to the wall, and connect the new sink to the existing plumbing lines. I had completed most all of this, but just needed to reconnect the cold water line, and Momma G had somewhere she needed to be. So with my assurances that there was about 5 minutes of work and clean-up left for the job, she set up the playpen in the hall, just outside the bathroom door, and plopped our impressionable little angel in the playpen to wait for his daddy to finish up. Two hours later, she returns to find that daddy is still in the bathroom, wrestling with a completely stripped out water connection, and Scott is hanging onto the side of the playpen saying "crap, crap, crap, crap...." All of this to say, that it must be a genetic thing, because I would have never said that in front of my child.

Jan has a blog!

Check out Jan's new blog here.

Scott on Stage!!

I will try to get better videos of the attached two clips to post on here later, but for now, these home videos show you what our youngest has been up to at Waco High School. They are here and here. These are from the Big Show that they do every year at the end of the school year to showcase the various choirs. We were very proud of him to be singing a solo and all, and also when he was awarded the Spirit of the Choir award at the end of the night. There, I am done bragging, go back to whatever you were doing.

An update and a quick word of praise.

Most of you probably already know this, but for those of you that do not, I feel a need to bring you up to date on what Jan and I, (mostly Jan), have been going through for the last several weeks. Jan had an ovarian cyst that showed up on her last CT Scan (she has one every 6 months to look for any recurrence of cancer from the colon cancer, in addition to blood tests every 3 months to check for the particular serum that shows up if the cancer was to come back.) They also did a blood test to look for a 'cancer marker' associated with ovarian cancer, which came back negative. So we scheduled surgery to have the ovary removed (Jan's only remaining ovary, since they removed the other when she had a hysterectomy 12 years ago.) This was on March 26th. The surgery was done laparoscopically and should have taken a short amount of time, but it took an hour and a half, because Jan had already had 5 prior abdominal surgeries (Three c-sections, hysterectomy and removal of ascending colon and tumor), so things just weren't quite where they were supposed to be, complicating things for the surgeon. Other than that all went well, and the ovary was sent to the pathologist for final confirmation of whether or not it was malignant. On March 28th, Jan went to Dallas for her annual mammogram, and they discovered a "gathering of cells" on one side that they felt needed further investigation. They scheduled a needle biopsy for May 6th. After getting home, Jan determined that there was no way she could handle waiting until May to have the test done, so she called back and talked them into moving the biopsy back to April 10th. On Monday of last week we received the welcome news that the pathology report on the ovary was negative. Jan had the needle biopsy on Thursday, and when she called back on Friday afternoon, (yesterday), they told her that the results of the biopsy were that it was benign.

To all who prayed us through all of this, please know that your prayers were felt greatly. It is only through the support of our loving family and friends that we have been able to bear up under all the things that have come our way the last few years. God is good, all the time.

A new writing contest.

I am home alone, bored, watching my season two video of the Office for the umpteenth time, so it is time once again for a writing contest such as we have had in the past. This will accomplish several things. 1. It will allow me to kill some time on a Saturday night waiting for Scott to come home from wherever it is 16 year olds go on Saturday night. 2. It will possibly confirm my suspicions that very few people are actually paying any attention to this blog anymore. and 3. It will provide some entertainment for me and Cliff and possibly MAB.

As a reminder you can check out a previous post containing our literary efforts here.

The word list.

pernicious
lackadaisical
abjure
xenophobia
suave
sycophant
amity

OK, one sentence, using as many of these words as you can, extra credit for making me laugh.

The Media is out to get me.

I should have known better than to bring up my solution for global-warming, because as soon as I presented my plan, crack-pot theories are being tossed out by the media in an attempt to drown out my voice in a sea of lunacy.

No doubt the local news writer who (whom?) I occasionally play basketball with has been reading my blog, and has notified his superiors at the paper about my "Two-fer Tuesdays"TM plans for solving the world's excess CO2 problems. This cabal then plotted on ways to discredit me. How else would they have come up with this unlikely article on the front page of the paper today, under the headline "Recipe for a CO2 Solution?".

Trib Article

Baking Soda? You have got to be kidding me. Who makes this crap up? It all sounds like alchemy to me, not a well thought-out plan such as "Two-fer Tuesday"TM .

Well we'll just have to see if combining CO2 with NaHO really makes NaHCO3. That seems to me to be about as likely as SO3 and H2O making H2SO4.

An inconvenient truth?

OK, this is going to sound like a crackpot idea, but hear me out. We all know that global warming has become more and more of a problem, what with the loss of arctic ice, and whatnot, and you might be wondering what can I, a loyal reader of Steve's blog do about it? Well in all of the discussions of methane emissions from cows, the CO2 in the air from coal burning for the production of electricity, and the emissions from all of those cars out there, there is one area that has been completely missed altogether, and we are all guilty of adding to the problem. I am referring, of course, to the CO2 that we all produce each time we breathe out. So, in an effort to curb this growing problem, (The world population of living, and therefore breathing people is now estimated at 4 kajillion* or so, give or take.), I intend to spend Tuesday of each week breathing in twice for every time that I breathe out. This should help in two ways. A.) It will filter an additional amount of what I will call "bad" air through my lungs, and 2.) I will produce less CO2, and thus reduce the collective burden on the trees of our planet, and allow for the harvesting of just that much more rainforest. In a test run of this plan earlier last week, the results were somewhat promising. However, I apparently took in more 'bad' air than I had anticipated, and after 15 minutes I fell over backwards and had to switch back to a one breath in to every breath out mode. I am certain though that if more of us would do this, then the amount of 'bad' air that we would be required to breathe in would be reduced and we would experience a much higher level of success. So remember, "Two-fer Tuesdays" for a brighter tomorrow.

* - I didn't have time to look up an actual number, but I rememer hearing it was really a lot.

Prison Trip

We were on the Columbus Avenue Baptist Church Choir Prison trip this last weekend, and we had a very good time. We always enjoy these trips, when we have the opportunity to go and minister to prisoners. If you are ever presented with a similar opportunity, I would highly recommend that you take advantage of it. I have never been around a group of people that so clearly appreciates an act of kindness as when I go on the prison trip. The offenders in all the units are excited to see us as we arrive, pay complete attention the entire time we are there, and sing along and laugh and just enjoy themselves while the concert is performed. I am sure that a big part of it is that they spend a lot of time seeing the same relatively small group of people day after day and any deviation from the norm is appreciated.

Public Service Announcement
The serious portion of this blog has now ended. If you do not want to suffer my inane comments, I suggest that you stop reading the rest of this post, and do something more edifying with your computer time, like google your name and see what you come up with.

Random Observations from the Back of the Tenor Section.

This year our trip included a side trip to possibly the tackiest place on earth, the Texas Prison Museum. Here in addition to historical displays of various shivs and other homemade weapons that prisoners have made, there is a replica of a jail cell that you can have your picture taken in, complete with the stainless steel toilet/sink unit that no jail cell would be complete without. An electric chair, a model of the historic Walls Unit, and various other items of historical significance are also on display. At the gift shop, in addition to must-have items, such as leather beer can koozies (made by offenders), bobble head convicts in striped clothing, and other typical gift shop crap, you can purchase T-Shirts that are emblazoned with "Pen State" and other equally tacky slogans. I was going to suggest that they begin to offer a "My Daddy rode the lightning, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" shirt, but by then it was time to get back on the bus.

The next day, when we were at the Walls Unit, we were all very surprised to learn that one of our number, (I believe it was number 17), was not only a former volunteer at the Walls Unit, but apparently is also the only surviving Civil War veteran. (I may have that wrong, but ask Chuck, I think he can confirm it.)

A New Post

OK, haven't posted in like forever, but we wanted to share this video with all of y'all. It is a good sample of what the deaf community feels about the world around them, and contains a brief history and synopsis of the attitudes that many hearing people have about the non-hearing.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKnF9CCYQPQ