A new writing contest.

I am home alone, bored, watching my season two video of the Office for the umpteenth time, so it is time once again for a writing contest such as we have had in the past. This will accomplish several things. 1. It will allow me to kill some time on a Saturday night waiting for Scott to come home from wherever it is 16 year olds go on Saturday night. 2. It will possibly confirm my suspicions that very few people are actually paying any attention to this blog anymore. and 3. It will provide some entertainment for me and Cliff and possibly MAB.

As a reminder you can check out a previous post containing our literary efforts here.

The word list.

pernicious
lackadaisical
abjure
xenophobia
suave
sycophant
amity

OK, one sentence, using as many of these words as you can, extra credit for making me laugh.

The Media is out to get me.

I should have known better than to bring up my solution for global-warming, because as soon as I presented my plan, crack-pot theories are being tossed out by the media in an attempt to drown out my voice in a sea of lunacy.

No doubt the local news writer who (whom?) I occasionally play basketball with has been reading my blog, and has notified his superiors at the paper about my "Two-fer Tuesdays"TM plans for solving the world's excess CO2 problems. This cabal then plotted on ways to discredit me. How else would they have come up with this unlikely article on the front page of the paper today, under the headline "Recipe for a CO2 Solution?".

Trib Article

Baking Soda? You have got to be kidding me. Who makes this crap up? It all sounds like alchemy to me, not a well thought-out plan such as "Two-fer Tuesday"TM .

Well we'll just have to see if combining CO2 with NaHO really makes NaHCO3. That seems to me to be about as likely as SO3 and H2O making H2SO4.

An inconvenient truth?

OK, this is going to sound like a crackpot idea, but hear me out. We all know that global warming has become more and more of a problem, what with the loss of arctic ice, and whatnot, and you might be wondering what can I, a loyal reader of Steve's blog do about it? Well in all of the discussions of methane emissions from cows, the CO2 in the air from coal burning for the production of electricity, and the emissions from all of those cars out there, there is one area that has been completely missed altogether, and we are all guilty of adding to the problem. I am referring, of course, to the CO2 that we all produce each time we breathe out. So, in an effort to curb this growing problem, (The world population of living, and therefore breathing people is now estimated at 4 kajillion* or so, give or take.), I intend to spend Tuesday of each week breathing in twice for every time that I breathe out. This should help in two ways. A.) It will filter an additional amount of what I will call "bad" air through my lungs, and 2.) I will produce less CO2, and thus reduce the collective burden on the trees of our planet, and allow for the harvesting of just that much more rainforest. In a test run of this plan earlier last week, the results were somewhat promising. However, I apparently took in more 'bad' air than I had anticipated, and after 15 minutes I fell over backwards and had to switch back to a one breath in to every breath out mode. I am certain though that if more of us would do this, then the amount of 'bad' air that we would be required to breathe in would be reduced and we would experience a much higher level of success. So remember, "Two-fer Tuesdays" for a brighter tomorrow.

* - I didn't have time to look up an actual number, but I rememer hearing it was really a lot.

Prison Trip

We were on the Columbus Avenue Baptist Church Choir Prison trip this last weekend, and we had a very good time. We always enjoy these trips, when we have the opportunity to go and minister to prisoners. If you are ever presented with a similar opportunity, I would highly recommend that you take advantage of it. I have never been around a group of people that so clearly appreciates an act of kindness as when I go on the prison trip. The offenders in all the units are excited to see us as we arrive, pay complete attention the entire time we are there, and sing along and laugh and just enjoy themselves while the concert is performed. I am sure that a big part of it is that they spend a lot of time seeing the same relatively small group of people day after day and any deviation from the norm is appreciated.

Public Service Announcement
The serious portion of this blog has now ended. If you do not want to suffer my inane comments, I suggest that you stop reading the rest of this post, and do something more edifying with your computer time, like google your name and see what you come up with.

Random Observations from the Back of the Tenor Section.

This year our trip included a side trip to possibly the tackiest place on earth, the Texas Prison Museum. Here in addition to historical displays of various shivs and other homemade weapons that prisoners have made, there is a replica of a jail cell that you can have your picture taken in, complete with the stainless steel toilet/sink unit that no jail cell would be complete without. An electric chair, a model of the historic Walls Unit, and various other items of historical significance are also on display. At the gift shop, in addition to must-have items, such as leather beer can koozies (made by offenders), bobble head convicts in striped clothing, and other typical gift shop crap, you can purchase T-Shirts that are emblazoned with "Pen State" and other equally tacky slogans. I was going to suggest that they begin to offer a "My Daddy rode the lightning, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" shirt, but by then it was time to get back on the bus.

The next day, when we were at the Walls Unit, we were all very surprised to learn that one of our number, (I believe it was number 17), was not only a former volunteer at the Walls Unit, but apparently is also the only surviving Civil War veteran. (I may have that wrong, but ask Chuck, I think he can confirm it.)